Education

To Homeschool or Not to Homeschool:

 Our Family’s Quanundrum

     Before we begin discussing our reasoning for our decision, we want to remind you that this is why we chose this for our family and not proclaiming this to be an absolute truth for all families. It is what we believed would be best for our family during this season of our lives, and is not a forever plan for our family.

     If you had asked us years ago, before or immediately following having children, what we thought our children’s educational future would look like it would have included public school….no debate. I was even one of those people who cringed at the term Home School. Who are these crazy cult like peeps sheltering and brainwashing their kids. Don’t they know how socially inept these kids will be?!?! I am thankful to say that God has humbled me in my judgments, and many others for that fact.

     So what began this change of heart and thinking, besides God himself? Well, as schooling began to be on the horizon we found ourselves wondering what this was going to look like for our kids. I began researching districts and information to learn more. In addition to all of that, our eldest Dean was really struggling with obeying and had a very strong willed nature. We were quite unsure of what this would mean for him in a school setting and fully believed it was not a teachers job to get our son to obey. That was our responsibility. We are very happy to say that the majority of those behavior issues, and rebelliousness have been resolved in our little man’s heart and behavior! It has been an amazing thing to watch God soften his heart and put in him a desire to obey. This led however to us sharing our concerns about our son and school with others and we began hearing from a more and more of them about home schooling. It seemed as though many people we knew were either planning on home schooling or already did. We were still insanely hesitant about the whole thing but decided to hear some of them out, do some of our own research, and pray about it.

     That took place for about a year or two before we finally made our decision. To be perfectly honest, we could have truly gone either way. We saw wonderful things that our local public school offered, and we also saw the added benefits of home schooling. We also saw many downsides to both. It seemed to be nearly tied in the pros and cons. I shared my concerns with Matt. I was very overwhelmed to have to partake in this decision not really seeing a clear right or wrong. So Matt offered to release me from my struggles and just make the decision for our family and carry the weight of that. I am so thankful he did because I would probably still be wrestling that one out. My mind is not a very quiet place and can be ever so indecisive. He said we would work together and try this out. If we got into it and thought it truly wasn’t working we could either try to go about it differently and see if that worked, or we would could just put them into public school after all. So that is where we stand as of now.

     Here are some of the components that got us excited to home school:

1. It offers us a freedom to teach our boys, not only through book study and structured learning time, but also though travel and experience and that was huge to us! When Matt gets offers to travel for work, we can all go as a family and use it as a great way to incorporate the new places and cultures into their learning.
2. It also offered us more of a means to be part of our kids education. With Matt working during their school hours and me home with all the young kids, we wouldn’t really be free to volunteer in their classroom and be part of that aspect of their life, and we strongly desired to.
3. Another part that was big for us was the freedom to design a curriculum around their personality and learning styles. The point of this is to cultivate a love for learning and to create a good basis for their lifelong learning to stem from. We want to see them succeed at learning not fail.
4. We can also accelerate or decelerate their learning speed as they need. Dean is more ahead and seems to pick things up quicker and this won’t confine him to a Kindergarten curriculum if he is on a 1st or 2nd grade level. It will also allow us the freedom to slow down the pace until he is fully able to understand a concept before we move on. Ensuring he really gets it.

     In all of this, we do acknowledge that this means more work on our part. We will have to add school lessons, teaching time, and correcting to our daily responsibilities. This was a huge area I struggled with as I am no Super Mom and my husband already has a seemingly full plate. When I shared these concerns with Matt and others they all were very encouraging, sharing their beliefs that I could manage it all. Appreciating their confidence I still doubted. Matt however didn’t desire for me to handle it all. He shared how he wanted to be part of making the monthly lesson plans, teaching the kids some of their lessons, and attending field trips. This was all very reassuring as I realized I wouldn’t be the only one carrying that load. Another area that we will have to be more intentional about is in making efforts to keep the kids well socialized. We have a good head start on this being as though we already have a built in friend group for each of them with all their brothers. We also are constantly getting together with friends and their kids in large masses through parties and church. But we do want them to have more. We imagine this will be through sports, extra curricular activities, community events, volunteering, travel, and much more.

      Our approach will probably be more of a structured one as that seems to be a necessity in our busy lives if we ever want to accomplish anything, whether that be school for the kids, time for Matt & I as a couple, his work and school, our home projects. We have a lot going on and really have to be disciplined with our time management and organization- which can seem like an oxymoron in a family of five with three little boys.

     The latest element we were introduced to through this process was the many different styles of home schooling. Some of which are actually connected to the school districts. Matt and I researched more and found many programs in our state that merged the benefits of both. We ended up narrowing down the programs we were interested in and got excepted to one. It is known as HEP (Home school Exploration Program). They offer quality educational support to home schooling families in their program. This is through district teachers that are made available to work with us. To help us to design lesson plans based off of the curriculum of our choice, with the goal of having our child meet all of the State grade requirements. We also are allowed the opportunity to use many of the districts online resources and curriculum libraries. In addition, we are given an educational expense fund allowance based on our enrollment status and credit numbers. This allowance covers curriculum, and activities such as art classes, music lessons, YMCA memberships, sports, tutoring and so on. They also cover field trip expenses for the child and attending adult. This program allows us the freedom to home school our kids, while minimizing the financial burden, but also allowing us to tap into the resources of the wonderful teaching staff. This seemed like a great opportunity for our children and our family, and we are very excited to begin it this fall.

      We fully acknowledge that this is going to be a lot of work and would never say this is the only way. This is just what seems to be the best decision for our family at this point and we are not closed minded to the fact that this may change down the road. With all that said, we are excited for this opportunity for our family. We will be sharing and posting about this journey more as time goes on. Curriculum we enjoy or didn’t find so helpful, fun field trips, activities we enjoyed, and tips on things that helped this process or hindered it. Keep checking back to see the latest news for our family and this journey.

Community

Parent’s Night Out…on us:

Our Story of Getting Involved in Our Community


     Nearly five years ago Matt & I found ourselves in a bit of a predicament. We had just given birth to our first son Dean, and not even three months later we found out we were pregnant with our second child. We had both migrated here and didn’t have any family in the area. We had also just begun to attend a new church and didn’t really know many people yet. You could say that our babysitter list was nonexistent. In addition to that, I had worked at a few daycares and preschools and had seen more than enough to make me want to be very discerning in who I left my babies with.

     During this time I had one good friend Jessica. We had become pretty close friends while my husband was out to sea. I had also gone to church with her and her mother for years. Anyhow, one day I remember Jess mentioning to me that her mom would be a great person to ask if I ever needed a babysitter. Glad I stored that one in the memory bank.

     I ended up taking her mother, Fran, up on that offer so that I could spend some time with Jess before she made a big cross country move to New York. Geesh, I still miss that lady! I felt very comfortable with leaving my baby with her mother. She was a very kind lady, lived right around the corner, had been a elementary school teacher for many years, had three grown kids who all still loved her very much, and she had a respect for our wishes and routines with our little guy.

     Over the years what began as a wonderfully helpful option for occasional childcare has blossomed into an amazing friendship. And not just between Fran and myself, but between Fran and my husband, and my children. She has become a huge part of our lives. A mother like figure and friend to both Matt and myself and a beautiful Grandmother to our children. They without any encouragement fell into the habit of calling her Grandma Fran. She has graciously obliged this role for several years now. Fran is the most amazingly generous woman I have had the blessing of being in community with and I will always be thankful for her place in our lives.

      Three boys and nearly five years later, and Fran is still holding strong, still making a weekly commitment to our family to spend time loving on our boys so that Matt & I can have the opportunity to have a night off and reconnect. I can only pray that I have her energy and strength when I am a grandma. Many of our friends have asked about how she graced our lives because they find themselves in a very similar situation. Having babies, not having any family near by, and at a lost for childcare, even more so free or affordable childcare.

     With that in mind and a full realization of the blessings we have in Fran, we decided to pull our resources and start offering families in our communities a night off. We call it Parent’s Night Out…on us. We offer the Parent’s in our community a night of free childcare in our home (which pretty child friendly being as though we have a few of them.) We make the kiddos dinner, do an activity with them, watch a movie, and just basically try to have somewhat organized chaos in their parents absence.

     We also try to go a bit further and offer a little treat to the parents to enjoy on their night out. In December we handed out little gift cards to Starbucks for the Parents. With the guest list growing we decided to reach out to some local businesses to see if they wanted to make any contributions to these families. All it took was a few phone calls to some local businesses and their managers and I am happy to say that the two managers that I have reached out to thus far have both made commitments to provide these families with some special treats. Free desserts, appetizers, or even entrees. This may not be a big deal to some, but to consider the cost of the average date night can be insane to comprehend to most parents. The average babysitter ran $8-12 an hour in 2011, and don’t forget to add more to that if you have multiple children. The average dinner out costs anywhere between $30-50 for a couple in addition to the childcare costs. So for a three hour date with your spouse on average you are looking at spending $54-$86. I don’t know about you, but that is insane to me! I am so thankful that Matt and I have been blessed with free, loving childcare, and would want nothing less for my friends. So I would like to thank ChocMo: Chocolate Bistro and the Bremerton Bar & Grill for making contributions to the families in our community.

     It is so exciting to see local businesses in Kitsap County get excited about helping local families! If you or any local business you know would like to participate in this please contact me at
chroniclesfromthetrenches@gmail.com or message me on our Facebook page Chronicles From The Trenches.

Blog Disclaimer

What this Blog is NOT!

     This is not a blog remarkably testifying that I know how to do this “Life” thing.  I, like most of you, am just trying to figure out how to walk the Parenting walk, the Wife walk, the home-reno walk, the Christian walk, and so on.  This isn’t a “How To” blog as I mentioned above, I can’t tell you the how to if I am still trying to figure that out.  This is simply stories, journals, and accounts of what does and doesn’t work for myself and our family.  Take from it what you may, leave what you choose, and feel free to even chuckle a bit at our moments of absurdity.  Please don’t take us too seriously; we don’t take ourselves all that seriously either.  But my hope in all of this blogging business is that some might be able to learn from our mistakes and avoid the many pitfalls of life, while others might see truth in some of this and allow that truth to impact their lives.  Heck, I want this to be a place to go on a not so joyous day, where you can read one of the many antics or charades my children or myself pulled and just find yourself engulfed in a moment of laughter. 

What this Blog IS!

     I plan on posting Stories of our day to day life.  Keeping it real for all the long distance Grandparents.  I plan on posting the crazy antics of our three boys. Trust me with three boys, they are endless!  I will write about Parenting, Marriage, Friendship, Pregnancy, Infertility, Adoption, Finances, Family, Home renos, Homeschooling – I can already feel the cringes, Crafting-I am not Martha Stewart, slightly more legal, but I do love me some good crafts, Community, Theology-more so how we wrestle and walk it out vs. televised evangelizing.  No claims to be the next Joyce Myers or Billy Graham here.  And I might even throw in there a bit of the dreaded fitness info as I try to reclaim somewhat of a pre-pregnancy physical stature. I am not in denial that I carried children, and believe that no matter what is done there will always be that mark which I believe is sort of beautiful, but I do acknowledge the benifits of caring for your health.  I will post some of my beloved reads as I am sort of obsessed with books and maybe some good tunes too.  Who knows, I have somewhat of a plan but if I feel inspired on something else I may roll with that.  We will see.  You are about as clued in at this point as I am.  Prayers are always welcome and heck even some loving criticism with a side of humbleness could be beneficial too.  Feel free to share the blog with your friends and welcome to some of our reality.